As a relationship coach it’s not my job to give advice. My role is to help my clients discover their own answers by helping them get clarity and by asking them meaningful questions (among other techniques)
Today I was imagining if someone insisted on two pieces of advice from me… what they would be. It didn’t take me long to come up with these:
1) Know who you are and what you want in life, and
2) SLOW THINGS DOWN when dating
Knowing who you are is so important, and yet so many people have focused on their career, their family, their marriage… and really don’t know who they are. Do you have a vision of how you want your life to be or are you just “getting by” and putting one foot in front of the other hoping that retirement or some other life change will rescue you from how things are? When was the last time that you sat down and put your dreams on paper – or have you given up on dreaming? What is your reason for being on this planet? How do you want to make a difference in the world?
If you are clear on who you are and what you want, then you can date with awareness. You can ensure that your potential mate will support you in the direction you want to go rather than hold you back or crush your dreams.
And #2….” slow things down”. I see so many people rush into committed relationships without knowing the other person. They project who they WANT that person to be – and are reluctant to see the red flags when they show up. Rushing into a sexual relationship triggers all kinds of euphoria-inducing and bonding hormones so it’s even harder to extricate yourself when you realize that there may be serious deal breakers. It’s much easier to walk away when you haven’t invested copious amounts of time, energy and/or money… so take your time. Enjoy life in the slow lane with your eyes wide open.
Please… if you’re in the dating world take good care of yourself. Do the work you need to do to be ready for dating and for the relationship you want. Of course working with a relationship coach who specializes in this area is ideal. You’re welcome to Email Me so we can set up a time for a consultation.
And when you meet someone and the chemistry is overwhelming this alone does not indicate that this person is “the one!” Recognize that this is nature’s sneaky strategy for the survival of the species even if you have no intention of making babies!