I am very tolerant of my friends. If I don’t hear from them for a while, I just assume that they are busy. If a friend promises to drop by if possible and doesn’t come, I just figure that something else has come up. I have noticed with myself that suddenly the rules change when I’m in a romantic relationship. All of a sudden, I have lots of expectations (ones that aren’t acknowledged, let alone shared!) and it becomes easy for me to take things personally. In a relationship if I haven’t heard from my partner, I might fear the worst and make up stories about how he doesn’t really care. If someone I’m dating says he’ll try to drop by and he doesn’t make it, I can make meaning of it where I wouldn’t with a friend. It’s true when dating that we need to be aware and notice if there are red flags, but I’ve found that when I don’t take another person’s behaviour personally, it frees me!
Have you noticed that you suddenly have expectations and demands when in relationship where you are more tolerant with your friends? Please share your observations!