How do you feel about being single? Many singles would much rather be in a relationship and feel like they are putting in time until their ideal partner comes along. Other singles are relieved to be out of a dysfunctional partnership or an unhappy marriage and are afraid of choosing someone just like their ex.
How can you make the best of being single?
The way I see it is to use this time to learn more about yourself: who you are, what you want, and to acknowledge your part in past breakups. What would you need to do differently next time? Maybe it’s being more cautious about who you get involved with. Maybe it’s learning some new relationship skills like being able to communicate calmly instead of yelling. Perhaps you need to cultivate the skill of seeing someone else’s point of view even it’s not the same as yours.
Over the years have you lost yourself? I see this very often, in both men and women, because they have focused so much on their partner and kids that they don’t really know who they are. Who are you? What are your dreams? What are your deepest-held values? What is your vision of the relationship you want? These are all important questions to answer before getting involved with someone new. This is how you approach dating “consciously” instead of repeating old patterns or getting swayed by chemistry.
Being single is an opportunity not only to learn more about yourself, but also to appreciate your own company. When you can enjoy time alone, then you can approach dating from a place of contentment and abundance, rather than desperation. It is then possible to have a significant other in your life because you want someone, not because you need them to make your lonely and miserable life better!
Need some help in becoming your own best friend? Seeing a counselor, therapist or relationship coach can be very helpful. There is no substitute for the soul-to-soul connection and perspective of working with a trained professional. Is this the next step for you? I encourage you to see how being single is actually a wonderful opportunity for growth and evolution – and to see the value of reaching out so you can get there!