I'm reminded that taking things personally really does cause me to suffer!

I think most of us know that it’s not a good idea to take things personally! I’ve been taking courses, reading books etc. for well over 20 years now, but today I was reminded how easily I can fall back into making meaning when it’s actually not about me! I was due to connect with a friend this morning who wasn’t available as we had planned. This is not the first time and, frankly, I was a little annoyed and hurt. I was telling myself that he doesn’t care about me. A little while ago, I got an email from him apologizing and saying that his dog had died on the walk before our scheduled call. So I was making up all kinds of stories… and it turned out to be a tragic life event that made him unavailable. This was a great reminder for me to step back, notice the meaning I might make of a disappointment… and realize that things are not always the way they seem! How would your life be different if you didn’t take things personally?

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My holistic approach

I am a coach for the current Calling in “the One” course, and I’m just loving co-facilitating our small group “Affinity” with Rebecca Ocean! On the teaching call last night, Katherine talked about how this program is all about who you are BEING when looking for love. The Conscious Dating® program I offer focuses more on DOING: your relationship requirements, how to find other singles and lots more. Together, they are life-changing! Together, they are your roadmap to finding love! Contact me today for complimentary strategy session. We’ll talk about how I can help you find love in 2012!

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Dating Tele-clinic for February

I hope you will join me for my Dating Tele-clinic this month. The topic is: Is Your Date a Keeper?: the 5 key red flags to watch out for, and the 7 signs that he/she is a keeper.

* learn about the 5 red flags to show that you are definitely not a match
* the 7 signs that this person has potential for something more
* talk with others on the call about their experiences (both positive and negative!)
* ask questions and get coaching
* get support

The next Dating Tele-clinic will be on Thursday, February 23rd at 4:30pm Pacific/7:30pm Eastern. Calls last approximately 60 minutes. There is no charge, apart from any costs to call a U.S. bridge line, depending on your phone plan.

Please sign up for call-in details and reminders at: http://www.openingtolovenow.com/upcoming-events/

I’m looking forward to “seeing” you on the call! Please invite your friends to register too!

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New Meetup Group!

For any of you who live in the Greater Victoria area, I’ve just started The Victoria Singles Meetup Group! You can go here to check it out and to join: http://www.meetup.com/The-Victoria-Singles-Meetup-Group/ You can sign up for our Valentine’s Single Mingle through the site. Pretty easy!

Even if you don’t live in this area, I really encourage you to get out of the house and away from your computer and meet new people in person. Meetup groups are a great way to make new friends. Just go to www.meetup.com and specify your location and interests… and you’re all set!

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Give yourself a pat on the back!

Like most people at the end of another year, I am reflecting on the past 12 months. It’s so easy to focus on what we still need to learn, and how we still need to grow, that we forget to celebrate our accomplishments. I invite you to give yourself credit for all the ways you have stretched yourself over the past year, the lessons you have learned, the ways you have made a difference in others’ lives.

I am celebrating that, as well as being a Certified Calling in “the One” coach, I am now officially a Certified RCI Relationship Coach for Singles. I have been through rigorous training to earn this certification. I feel confident offering these wonderful programs to you. I know that they do make a difference and I love to witness the transformation in my clients! I hope that 2012 will be the year that you will join me either for individual coaching or in one of my groups. Let’s make 2012 the year for LOVE!

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Enjoying community

I did an online dating tele-clinic last night. My topic was “chemistry” and I talked about the role of brain chemistry in dating, and in women’s lives in general using information from Helen Fisher and John Gray’s book called Venus on Fire, Mars on ice. Fascinating material! we talked a bit about Calling in “the One” and some valuable lessons learned from this program. After my short presentation, the people on the call shared with one another about dating, what they are looking for in a partner and some things we have learned through this process. It warmed my heart and I look forward to many more of these opportunities for people to have the support that is so necessary in going through life’s changes. I hope you’ll join us.  Shoot me an email or check the upcoming events page.

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Gratitude on Thanksgiving Day in Canada

I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude recently, but especially today as we celebrate Thanksgiving Day in Canada. Gratitude is a great antidote to self-pity and victimhood! Some (no – many!) mornings I wake up tired and as I’m feeling sorry for myself I stop and think about the fact that I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, clothes in my closet, I’m doing work that I love, and I live in a peaceful country! And today I was thinking about past relationships that blossomed for a while, then died. For many of us over 40 we can forget to be grateful as we focus on our longing for a beloved. I am listening to a CD by “Iz” (Israel Kamakawiwo’ole) which I probably never would have heard, had I not dated a Hawaiian fellow years ago. I can think of many other gifts from past relationships, and particularly what I have learned about myself: areas in which I need to grow and develop to be a more loving and conscious person in the world.

So I encourage you, wherever you are, and whenever you read this to take a moment and to be grateful for what has brought you to where you are today. Yes, perhaps there was a lot of pain and disappointment, but where can you find the blessings? What are the gifts?

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Finding Balance

I’m heading off to a fitness class now and I’ve been thinking about finding, or should I say “creating” balance in life. I was super busy over the summer taking online courses and doing homework. It was challenging intellectually and I loved the classwork, but it meant that I was in front of my computer for two-hour stretches several times a week. I always felt rushed and didn’t make time for exercise. My spiritual practice also suffered as I was so focused on “doing” that I lost sight of “being.”

I am now intentionally trying to balance mind, body and spirit as well as trying to balance my head and my heart. I invite you to look at your life and see how you’re doing. Are you taking time for self-care? Are you allowing yourself to receive as well as to give? Are you taking quiet time? Time for play? How would it be different for you to live from a place of consciousness or awareness? Something to consider…

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Conscious Dating® coaching now available!

Are you looking for a step-by-step program that will help you find lasting love? The Relationship Coaching Institute has developed a wonderful program called Conscious Dating® to help you gain the awareness you need to make better choices in love. In the Self-Discovery and Readiness section I help you to identify your areas for growth and to learn more about yourself and what you need for lasting love. One-on-one coaching is ideal for this work but I will also offer 6-week introductory group sessions, starting in mid-September 2011. More information is coming so stay tuned!

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