Yesterday in my blog I talked about having come across a wonderful treasure: Daphne Rose Kingma’s book called True Love: How to Make Your Relationship Sweeter, Deeper and More Passionate.
Today, in Part 2 I will share with you some of the highlights of the second section of the book called “The Practices of Love.”
In the “Love Yourself” chapter she says,
“All too many of us consider love to be the miracle by which, finally, we will become complete human beings. This is the fixer-upper notion of love, the idea that we are not all right as we are, but if we can just get loved by somebody, then that will prove we’re ok.”
The truth is that to love someone else, and to be loved, we have to love ourselves first. She talks about loving yourself enough to be authentic: having the courage to say what you feel and ask for what you want. She suggests ways to cherish your beloved – like criticizing only in private, behaving yourself in public and praising the ordinary. Many times we are so focused on things from our point of view that we forget to be compassionate toward our partner and what he/she may be going through. Another example of loving behavior is to depart and reunite with loving gestures. I have a friend in her late 70’s and her husband is in his mid 80’s. They greet each other with a hug and a kiss and when they part, they do the same. So often it’s the small gestures that mean so much. It’s easy to take our partner for granted but making time for loving actions goes a long way even after decades of marriage!
Tomorrow I will talk about the third section of True Love called “The Transformations of Love.” Stay tuned!